Sue Blaney continues to educate parents and her audio collection for busy parents and limited time is now available.  Check out her recent Blog today.

YOU’RE EMPOWERED!

By  Sue Blaney

You’re Empowered! Parenting Teens with Conviction, Communication and Love has been named as a top-three finalist for a 2009 Benjamin Franklin Award for best audiobook-nonfiction. The Benjamin Franklin Awards are among the most respected Book Awards in the country and recognize excellence in both editorial and design. The award is administered by the Independent Book Publishers Association, IBPA, (formerly PMA) with the help of industry professionals coming from the library, bookstore, reviewer, designer, publicity and editorial markets.

I am a big fan of audio content. Commuters, runners and parents who spend hours in the car each week transporting kids have great opportunities to listen to valuable and beneficial audio programming. I developed this program so parents can listen when it’s convenient for you, and the 28 page workbook accompanies the audio so that you can revisit the concepts and make some notes. The Parents’ Action Tool makes the program even more concrete and actionable. This program is created for typical parents with typical teens.

This 3-hour audiobook (available as an MP3 download or as a 3-CD set) looks at parenting teens through a communications framework because I believe the key to raising teenagers is good communication.

• The first CD is titled De-Mystifying Teens. In it we examine three Growth and Development Factors and three Invisible Motivators. When parents understand more about why kids behave the way they do, it is easier to understand your teen and find ways to motivate, communicate and support them.

• The second hour is titled simply Improving Communication. Here we look at obstacles to communication and common mistakes that parents make. Then we look at how parents can improve your listening skills, and various approaches and tactics to improve your communication effectiveness. For the most part, parents don’t need to rework your approach…improving communication is a matter of making little tweaks and adjustments. This feels very doable using these relatively simple tactics.

• In the third hour of the program we look at Keeping Your Teens Safe from Risky Behavior. Examining risky behavior through a communications lens is a unique approach, and a very valid one. It is through effective communication that parents have the best possibility to influence kids and diminish tendencies for experimentation. We examine alcohol use, drug use and sexual activity, providing a combination of facts and communication approaches that parents can use.

Learn more at http://www.pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/

by Peter Jaksa, Ph.D.

Discipline strategies that will leave parents and ADHD teenagers on talking terms.

The best way to prevent discipline problems in the teen years is to instill good behavior at an early age — I know, I know, why didn’t I tell you that seven years ago? — and reinforce it as your child grows.

While there are no quick fixes for discipline problems in adolescence, the following rules can help establish the groundwork for cooperation and peace at home.

Don’t Punish Biology

What do teens hate more than being criticized or punished for misbehavior? Being criticized or punished for things that are not under their control — such as the biological symptoms of ADHD. An adolescent with ADHD who has an emotional meltdown is not being “bad” — she is being emotional.

Disorganization or forgetfulness is not a voluntary choice. The way to deal with missing homework assignments is by teaching your teen better organization strategies and time management.

You should discipline destructive behaviors that involve choice. Impulsivity is a biological symptom of ADHD, but that isn’t an excuse for shoplifting or other irresponsible actions.

Be Democratic — Sort Of

Although a family is not a true democracy, discipline is easier when teens help shape the rules. Even the most rebellious teens are more likely to abide by the rules if they had a say in making them.

Holding regular family meetings — once a week is good — encourages open and honest communication and creates an atmosphere of belonging, acceptance, and cooperation. (Emergency meetings can be called at any time to deal with a crisis or discuss an important matter.)

At the weekly meeting, solicit everyone’s opinion. It is an opportunity to air grievances and complaints, and to discuss or change rules. Once a rule is established, everyone is required to live by it. Some decisions are open to a vote (where to go on vacation), but important ones (who gets keys to the car) are in the parents’ hands.

Scale Back Power Struggles

They can’t be avoided, but they can be minimized. Parents should be clear about what they expect of their teen. Rules are written down and signed as a contract (study times, curfews, household chores, driving rules). A few important rules, with frequent reminders and consistent enforcement, work much better than a long list of rules that won’t be remembered and can’t be enforced.

Keep Your Cool

When you ratchet up the tension, your emotional teen is likely to do the same. Arguing distracts both of you from the real issue and finding constructive solutions. Instead of raising your voice, calmly, but firmly, enforce the rules. Follow the principle of “if you abuse it, you lose it.” Break a curfew and you’re grounded for a week. No arguments.

Anticipate Problems

What will you do if your child skips school? Calls you names? Breaks curfew? Comes home intoxicated? You should know before any of this happens. Developing specific strategies for problems makes it more likely that the problem can be dealt with calmly and constructively.

Make Rules You Can Enforce

Never fight a battle you can’t win, and never set a rule you can’t enforce. “Be home by 10 o’clock” is an enforceable rule. “Don’t spend time with your friend Sandy, who tends to get you in trouble,” is not. You can’t tag along with your daughter and choose whom she sees when she leaves the house.

Stay In the Present

Nothing is more counterproductive than bringing up past problems or mistakes while trying to deal with a current situation. Rehashing the past distracts from the problem at hand, and leads to an escalation of frustration and hostilities. Save the long lectures and the “I told you so.”

Let Your Teen Vent

Given the high level of emotionality that often comes with ADHD, your teen’s frustration, disappointment, or resentment can quickly turn into anger.

Acknowledge angry feelings, but don’t criticize them as long as they are expressed responsibly — verbally, without becoming abusive (no name calling or insults). Make it clear that there is a big difference between angry feelings and angry acts. Set firm limits against physical anger toward people or property. If those limits are not respected, be prepared to call the police, if necessary. Some lines cannot be crossed.

Stand Firm on Tough Issues

Major offenses always require discipline. Teens with ADHD are at higher risk for substance abuse and addictions, driving violations, and car accidents than are non-ADDers. These misbehaviors call for swift and meaningful consequences. Be clear that there is zero tolerance for dangerous or illegal behavior, and take action when rule violations occur.

Summer is coming, many teens will have lots of spare time -hanging at malls, walking around town etc.  We can turn on the TV and hear about teen violence, rapes, kidnappings, beatings and worse - take the time to educate your teens and offer self defense resources.

Source: TeensHealth

SELF DEFENSE

You’ve seen it in movies: A girl walks through an isolated parking garage. Suddenly, an evil-looking guy jumps out from behind an SUV. Girl jabs bad guy in the eyes with her keys — or maybe she kicks him in a certain sensitive place. Either way, while he’s squirming, she leaps into her car and speeds to safety.

That’s the movies. Here’s the real-life action replay: When the girl goes to jab or kick the guy, he knows what’s coming and grabs her arm (or leg), pulling her off balance. Enraged by her attempt to fight back, he flips her onto the ground. Now she’s in a bad place to defend herself — and she can’t run away.

Many people think of self-defense as a karate kick to the groin or jab in the eyes of an attacker. But self-defense actually means doing everything possible to avoid fighting someone who threatens or attacks you. Self-defense is all about using your smarts — not your fists.

Use Your Head

People (guys as well as girls) who are threatened and fight back “in self-defense” actually risk making a situation worse. The attacker, who is already edgy and pumped up on adrenaline — and who knows what else — may become even more angry and violent. The best way to handle any attack or threat of attack is to try to get away. This way, you’re least likely to be injured.

One way to avoid a potential attack before it happens is to trust your instincts. Your intuition, combined with your common sense, can help get you out of trouble. For example, if you’re running alone on the school track and you suddenly feel like you’re being watched, that could be your intuition telling you something. Your common sense would then tell you that it’s a good idea to get back to where there are more people around.

De-Escalating a Bad Situation

Attackers aren’t always strangers who jump out of dark alleys. Sadly, teens can be attacked by people they know. That’s where another important self-defense skill comes into play. This skill is something self-defense experts and negotiators call de-escalation.

De-escalating a situation means speaking or acting in a way that can prevent things from getting worse. The classic example of de-escalation is giving a robber your money rather than trying to fight or run. But de-escalation can work in other ways, too. For example, if someone harasses you when there’s no one else around, you can de-escalate things by agreeing with him or her. You don’t have to actually believe the taunts, of course, you’re just using words to get you out of a tight spot. Then you can redirect the bully’s focus (”Oops, I just heard the bell for third period”), and calmly walk away from the situation.

Something as simple as not losing your temper can de-escalate a situation. Learn how to manage your own anger effectively so that you can talk or walk away without using your fists or weapons.

Although de-escalation won’t always work, it can only help matters if you remain calm and don’t give the would-be attacker any extra ammunition. Whether it’s a stranger or someone you thought you could trust, saying and doing things that don’t threaten your attacker can give you some control.

Reduce Your Risks

Another part of self-defense is doing things that can help you stay safe. Here are some tips from the National Crime Prevention Council and other experts:

• Understand your surroundings. Walk or hang out in areas that are open, well lit, and well traveled. Become familiar with the buildings, parking lots, parks, and other places you walk. Pay particular attention to places where someone could hide — such as stairways and bushes.
• Avoid shortcuts that take you through isolated areas.
• If you’re going out at night, travel in a group.
• Make sure your friends and parents know your daily schedule (classes, sports practice, club meetings, etc.). If you go on a date or with friends for an after-game snack, let someone know where you’re going and when you expect to return.
• Check out hangouts. Do they look safe? Are you comfortable being there? Ask yourself if the people around you seem to share your views on fun activities — if you think they’re being reckless, move on.
• Be sure your body language shows a sense of confidence. Look like you know where you’re going and act alert.
• When riding on public transportation, sit near the driver and stay awake. Attackers are looking for vulnerable targets.
• Carry a cell phone if possible. Make sure it’s programmed with your parents’ phone number.
• Be willing to report crimes in your neighborhood and school to the police.

Take a Self-Defense Class

The best way — in fact the only way — to prepare yourself to fight off an attacker is to take a self-defense class. We’d love to give you all the right moves in an article, but some things you just have to learn in person.

A good self-defense class can teach you how to size up a situation and decide what you should do. Self-defense classes can also teach special techniques for breaking an attacker’s grasp and other things you can do to get away. For example, attackers usually anticipate how their victim might react — that kick to the groin or jab to the eyes, for instance. A good self-defense class can teach you ways to surprise your attacker and catch him or her off guard.

One of the best things people take away from self-defense classes is self-confidence. The last thing you want to be thinking about during an attack is, “Can I really pull this self-defense tactic off?” It’s much easier to take action in an emergency if you’ve already had a few dry runs.

A self-defense class should give you a chance to practice your moves. If you take a class with a friend, you can continue practicing on each other to keep the moves fresh in your mind long after the class is over.

Check out your local YMCA, community hospital, or community center for classes. If they don’t have them, they may be able to tell you who does. Your PE teacher or school counselor may also be a great resource.

As a parent advocate, I don’t only hear from parents, I hear from teens.  Joni Poole is someone very special.  Joni has possessed strength, dignity and courage through some horrific events.  She is no longer a victim - she is a survivor and one that has a strong message to all others.  She has created a website and advocacy group (Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault and Rape Awareness) to educate others and hopefully prevent sexual abuse and assualt. Take a moment to read her story and pass it on - you don’t know who may benefit.

Here is Joni’s story - and please read her website at www.saaraonline.org:

My name is Joni Poole. I am a 17 year old Senior in high school. I am telling my story in hopes that it will help others who have been a victim of a sexual crime. I have also provided Public Information, from the Georgia Department of Corrections, about my offender within my story.

On August 22, 2007, I was at work at a Toy Breed Dog Kennel. Near the end of my shift, around 7:45 P.M., I was raped by my second cousin/co-worker/manager, Martin Malone Griffin. As soon as I could leave my workplace, I immediately began calling my mother from my cell phone. I drove about a mile down the road to her job. We then went to the hospital and had a rape kit performed. This began the process of pressing charges. From that moment on, the next year of my life would become a living nightmare. Investigators did not want to believe me. They told us that there was no way it was rape. Due to me turning 16 nineteen days prior (the assault happened August 22, 2007 and my 16th birthday was August 3, 2007) to the attack, Marty could not be arrested for statutory rape. DNA tests were performed and proved that the he was in fact the perpetrator of the crime. The magistrate judge would not give us a warrant for his arrest due to lack of evidence, so he said. Although by law, all that is needed to secure a warrant is probable cause. We had probable cause and DNA evidence, which was more than enough for a warrant. However, no matter what others said, I was not going to give up.

The day the Magistrate Judge told us there was no probable cause, we turned to the Assistant District Attorney. Much to my relief she wanted to help. She was enraged at how I had been treated by the Magistrate Court and decided to pursue the case. The case was brought before a Grand Jury. I had to testify and tell the Jury my account of what happened. This was extremely hard and embarrassing for me. The Grand Jury agreed to issue a warrant for his arrest. A few weeks later we went back to court for jury selection. The jury was chosen and trial was set for the next day. However, the original investigator hurt himself in an accident and would not be able to attend court. Therefore, court was rescheduled for September 22, 2008, 1 year and 1 month after the rape occurred.

Due to court being postponed, we had to pick a new jury Monday, September 22, 2008. Our case was possibly going to have to be postponed once again due to the two other criminal cases ahead of us. However, the two cases ahead of us plead out, therefore, our case was moved up to Wednesday, September 24. We began trial at 2:00 pm. on Wednesday. After opening arguments, it was time for me to testify. I was so scared and nervous. I could not stand the thought of being in the same room as the man who had raped me. The questions I was asked were difficult and embarrassing to answer. I felt terrified, embarrassed, angry, and experienced many other emotions the entire time I was on the stand. I also had to stand in front of the Jury and show them a map of the building I had drawn to give them an illustration of where the rape took place. After the Assistant District Attorney asked me questions, it was time for me to be cross-examined by the Defense Attorney. He asked very difficult and sometimes confusing questions. However, I stood strong and did not let him shake me. I kept my eyes focused on the Jury, my family and supporters, and the Assistant District Attorney. I did this because to look at Marty would cause to experience flashbacks of the rape. I was already weeping from the questions and having to remember and tell every detail. I did not need to have a panic attack. I can remember looking out into the crowd to my aunt and other family members crying. They were there in support of me, but they had never heard my full story. They did not expect me to be interrogated like I was that day. After I finished testifying I was released and asked to return to the witness room. I felt satisfied with my testimony and so was the Assistant District Attorney. A few more people testified Wednesday and the case was put on hold until the next day. We began trial again the next morning. The last of the witnesses testified Thursday morning. After testimonies were finished it was time for closing arguments. The defense attorney called me a “liar” many times and said, “if my client is convicted based on a liar’s testimony, then we need to burn this courthouse down and plant a turnip patch.” He also tried to discredit me many times. After closing arguments the Judge told us to remain at the courthouse until the verdict was reached. She charged the jury. They were told what the charges were and the definition of each charge. He was charged with:

Count 1: Rape

…[Rape occurs when sex is non-consensual (not agreed upon), or a person forces another person to have sex against his or her will. It also can occur when the victim is intoxicated from alcohol or drugs. Rape includes intercourse in the vagina, anus, or mouth. It is a felony offense, which means it is among the most serious crimes a person can commit. Rape is a crime that can happen to men, women, or children.]…

Count 2: False Imprisonment

…[The illegal confinement of one individual against his or her will by another individual in such a manner as to violate the confined individual's right to be free from restraint of movement.]…

Count 3: Sexual Battery

…[A person commits the offense of sexual battery when he or she intentionally makes physical contact with the intimate parts of the body of another person without the consent of that person.]…

After charges were read, the Jury went to the Jury room for deliberation. Marty was offered a plea bargain of 1 year in boot camp, 10 years probation, and Sex Offender Registry. He was able to accept this verdict until the Jury came back with a verdict. However, he REFUSED this lenient deal, several times. After 2 and 1/2 hours the Jury came back with their verdict.

The Jury’s verdict was…

-Count 1: Rape…GUILTY
-Count 2: False Imprisonment…NOT GUILTY
-Count 3: Sexual Battery…GUILTY

Contact Joni at jnpoole_2009@hotmail.com - her mission is to spread the word and help others.

You can join S.A.A.R.A. Fan Club on Facebook too!  Help carry her message throughout the world!

SAMSHA has created a site (http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/cfoy.aspx) that provides quick links to information in packaged bundles, available for quick download or mail order. These resources provide tips for families and educators to talk to teens about drug use. This is a great opportunity to access legitimate research and gather additional facts on signs and symptoms of drug use, tips for addressing teen use of  hallucinogens, club drugs, heroin, and methamphetamines, and family guides (also available in Spanish) designed to facilitate a healthy and open discussion about raising drug free teens.

Quick, easy to read information is available, such as these signs of possible drug use:

•       Skipping classes or not doing well in school
•       Unusual odors on their clothes or in their room
•       Hostility or lack of cooperation
•       Physical changes (red eyes, runny nose)
•       Borrowing money often, or suddenly having extra cash
•       Lack of interest in activities
•       Significant mood changes
•       Loss of interest in personal appearance
•       Change in friends
•       Heightened secrecy about actions or possessions

Our website (http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/cfoy.aspx) will provide the information needed to arm yourself with the right tools to quickly and easily get the facts you need to talk to teens about drugs. If you like, you can download a free badge that you can add to your blog to show your support for education and communication around teen drug use. The badge will link directly to SAMSHA’s resources and provide a quick reference guide for your readers.

Source: ReputationDefender Blog

Taking it Offline: The Lingering Importance of Face-to-Face Networking in a Digital World

With the rise and blossoming of online networking sites like LinkedIn and ClaimID, many people, especially younger people, are doing the majority of their business networking online. This phenomenon is not anything new, and it has been covered in this blog and elsewhere.

But while it may be easier to sit in front of the computer screen and interact with your peers, it is hard to think that interpersonal relationships can ever be fully fleshed out (if you will) in the digital sphere. Face-to-face networking will never go away. The information on the Internet is not always accurate (although that doesn’t mean it isn’t relevant, according to Google’s algorithms), and there is a lot to be said for looking someone in the eyes.

Tips to help ADHD students fine-tune their study strategies for specific test formats: multiple choice, essay, and math/science tests.

Many parents of students with attention deficit disorder (ADHD) want to pull out their hair. And most share the same school-related frustration. “She knew the material at home, but she flunked the test.”

What students with ADHD know — or think we know — is not always on the test. The cardinal rule for studying smarter is: “It’s not what you know, it’s what your teacher wants you to know.”

Because we often wait until the last minute to study, we forget this rule. We study hard — but we study the wrong material. Or, in a rush, we don’t dig deep enough into the material, even though that’s what the teacher expects us to do. I’ve been there and done that.

A week before the test, make a rough outline or study guide. Show it to your teacher and ask her if you’re studying the right material, if you’ve missed anything, and where to focus your efforts. After you’ve targeted the relevant material, consider the test format: Different kinds of tests require different study strategies.

Continue reading about Multiple-Choice Exams…

For Immediate Release
Contact: Michele Robinson
                HWM Communications
                 301-530-1845
                 Mrobinson48@earthlink.net
New Book Details Comprehensive Plan
To Deal Effectively with Kids with ADHD

School Success for Kids With ADHD, published this month by Prufrock Press, is a new resource that offers parents and teachers the latest information to support the total child at school, at home and in social situations. If parents have only one book to read about ADHD, this is it.

Written by three Washington, D.C. experts in child psychology and education, School Success for Kids With ADHD offers a 12-point plan–a wrap around approach—that includes parents, teachers, physicians and school counselors in supporting the child or teenager with ADHD.

School Success for Kids With ADHD sorts out the current confusion over ADHD medications by providing the latest information about which medications works best.  Because 34 percent of Americans now use alternative or complementary medical therapies, the authors include the latest information about diet and stress management.

The book is organized so that no matter where you are as a parent–first diagnosed, veteran or skeptic—you can open the book and find your place.  School Success for Kids With ADHD has been described as “one stop” reading about kids with ADHD because all information presented is updated and comprehensive.

The book walks the reader through the steps to develop a comprehensive plan about what services are needed to support a student with ADHD.  The book’s authors strongly believe that the more information that parents and educators have, they better equipped they are to make decisions.

Topics covered include recognizing the causes and types of attention deficits and how they appear in the school context, requesting school evaluations and diagnoses, understanding the laws regarding students with special needs, advocating for these students in the school environment, and coaching students with attention deficits to success.

The authors also include a brief overview of research and medical perspectives on attention deficits, strategies used by teachers of children with ADHD, and helpful tools for parents and teachers to employ, such as homework checklists and self-advocacy charts.

School Success for Kids With ADHD is now available at Border’s, your local bookstore
or from Prufrock Press Inc., (800) 998-2208; www.prufrock.com.

About the authors

Stephan M. Silverman, Ph.D., served as a school psychologist for 30 years, specializing in the treatment and instruction of children with attention deficit disorders and learning disabilities. He is the coauthor of the best-selling School Success for Kids With Asperger’s Syndrome.

Jacqueline S. Iseman, Ph.D., runs a private practice specializing in treating children and adolescents in Washington, DC. Her areas of expertise include working with children, adolescents, and families providing psychotherapy, consultations, and assessment.

Sue Jeweler, a retired teacher, spent her 30-year career working with children in the Washington, DC area. She is the coauthor of the best-selling Smart Kids With Learning Difficulties.

Michele L. Robinson
HWM Communications
5520 Greentree Road
Bethesda, MD 20817
301.530.1845

This topic, gay teens, is brought up more and more with parenting today. It seems many teens have questions that parents need to be prepared to answer and more importantly, prepared to understand this sensitive subject.  Without getting into religious beliefs, parents need to recognize that kids today are more exposed to many subjects that were taboo years ago - generations ago!  However, it doesn’t make them less important.  I believe that parents need to take the time to try to understand all concepts of today’s generations, although it has probably been in previous times too - living in the past won’t help us today.  Being an educated parent can help you raise a healthy teen into a stable young adult.  Be open minded, listen, hear what your kids are saying.  Be supportive and be a parent.

Connect with Kids writes an interesting and informational article with helpful parenting tips in respect to this subject. 

Gay Teen Comes Out

Kerry Pacer says to her Mom Savannah,  “I knew you’d love me always, but I just didn’t know how you’d accept it, like if you’d be like, ‘Okay, I accept that you’re gay’ or if you’d be like, ‘You’re NOT gay.’”

Kerry was 12 years old when she first told her Mom.  Savannah says, “When you say to me, ‘I’m gay’…I’m thinking ‘Okay…you think you’re gay…you’re 12 years old…we’ll see if it lasts.’”
 
It did last.  And what Kerry wanted most was for her mom to accept her.

Kerry says, “A lot of gay kids think there’s something wrong with them for being gay.  And it’s hard whenever your parents think there’s something wrong with you, too.  You’re kind of like, ‘Oh God there really is!’”

Experts say finding out that your child is gay can be a difficult moment. They add, think before you react… because what you say will be remembered for years.

Bruce Nelson is the co-president of the Atlanta chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.  He says, “This kid that they’ve given birth to, they raised from an infant, worried about, cared about, spent a lot of money on, a lot of time with … if you over-react, if you panic, if you don’t get the facts, if you don’t understand what’s going on…than you’re at risk of throwing all that away.” 

Experts say take things slow.  You don’t have to tell people until you are ready.

Savannah says, “I’d say you know, we live in a small town.  We live in a conservative small town, and maybe you don’t want to tell everyone you’re gay just because you’ll get a lot of negative feedback.”

Kerry does tell people.  That means she and her sister, get teased and taunted at school.  Kerry says, “Here people say ‘lesbian’ or ‘dirty lesbian’ when you walk by them in the hall.”   Her younger sister Lindsay says, “People are like, ‘Has she ever tried to kiss you?’ And I’m like, ‘No, she’s still my sister.  It’s like has your brother ever tried to kiss you?’”

Her mom says she can’t stop the hurt.   All she can do is love and accept.  Savannah says, “Even though I maybe can’t take back the things that people have said to her or done to her, she knows she’s coming to a place where she’s going to get understanding.”

Experts say it can be helpful to join a support group such as Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. They also suggest reviewing literature designed for parents of a gay child. 

Tips for Parents

The teenage years are a time of extraordinary challenges and opportunities. As teens explore their growing independence and sense of identity they must overcome a number of developmental milestones, such as developing social skills, thinking about career choices and fitting into a peer groups. Gay, lesbian and bisexual adolescents, however, must often navigate these developmental waters in the face of additional problems and concerns not typically faced by other teens, such as:

• Feeling different from peers
• Feeling guilty about their sexual orientation
• Worrying about the response from their families and loved ones
• Being teased and ridiculed by their peers
• Worrying about AIDS, HIV infection and other sexually transmitted diseases
• Fearing discrimination when joining clubs, sports, seeking admission to college and finding employment
• Being rejected and harassed by others

In particular, studies show that gay and lesbian teens are more likely to report having missed school due to fear, having their property damaged at school and being threatened by other students. It is little wonder that these students often become socially isolated, withdraw from activities and friends, have trouble concentrating, and develop low self-esteem. Some researchers report gay, lesbian and bisexual teens report high rates of depression and account for a significant number of deaths by suicide in adolescence.
 
Teaching a child the dangers of harassment and/or bullying behavior based upon sexual preference can be a very difficult process for some parents. As with other discussions, there are a number of things that parents can do to make the discussion a little easier and more effective.

• Parents need to inform themselves before they talk with their kids. Parents need to get the facts about homosexuality and need to be prepared to share the facts their kids in an age-appropriate manner.
• Parents need to come to grips with their own feelings regarding gays, lesbians and bisexuals, and to share those values with their children in the context of the discussion. For many parents, this is the most difficult aspect of the conversation, and there are no easy answers to the problem. Parents should remember they don’t have to condone the behavior to love their child.
• Parents need to maintain a calm and non-critical atmosphere for the discussion. Try to use words that are comfortable and familiar when talking to kids about important topics. Parents should also try to encourage the child to talk and ask questions. They need to know that they can talk about things with the parents freely and without fear of consequence.
• It is important for parents to search for a support group of other parents who share their same concerns and are facing the same issues. If one is not available in your area, organize one. The sharing of ideas and fears can help alleviate anxiety and give parents ideas and thoughts they may not have realized otherwise.

References

• American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
• American Psychological Association
• American Public Health Association
• Family Acceptance Project
• Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
• Pediatrics